Month: October 2017

Caitlin grew up as a listener and observer learning much from those around her. Finding herself interested in psychology from the moment she had the opportunity to take her first class, she went on to major in psychology and receive a Bachelor of Science degree. Following that endeavor she pursued and acquired a Master of Arts in Counseling and now works as a Licensed Professional Counselor. Caitlin joins us to offer anything that God might want to say through this broken (in the process of healing for the rest of this life) vessel to others out there experiencing their own brokenness.

Recently after a church message about “letting your past die”, I felt I was supposed to have a conversation with a family member. Our relationship had been struggling for a few weeks on the surface, but in reality it had been struggling for over a year. As I sat in church that day I became aware of the fact that I was angry, I was holding on to the anger, and that I was a part of not letting the past die. When some issues with my family member occurred a year ago I was quick to forgive. Honestly, I felt it was genuine. However, the thing I never let myself be was angry or hurt. I needed to be a bit angry. I needed to let myself feel it and for me (not everyone needs this) I needed to say it out loud to my family member. Let me tell you this is not a conversation I wanted to have. In a conversation with God I was a little sassy (some would say stubborn) and told him I didn’t really want to, but I would. Well you see He seems to know what He is doing because what I thought might be a 1 minute conversation ended up being a humbling and powerful hour and half. A time that God helped me recognize I had been prideful, guarded, and I was hurting along with my family member. It wasn’t enough to just be accepting, say I forgive you, and act nice on the outside. I really had to dig in and get the crud out. It had to be brought to light…it had already began stealing joy, peace, and relationship. What I felt as I left that conversation full of real raw moments and tears was peace. He had replaced my anger with peace and love.

I had the opportunity to find this healing with the other person involved. I know some people do not get that chance, but please offer yourself the chance and find a way to get the crud out so it can be replaced with something else that can breathe life and healing into your life rather than stealing it.

~Caitlin

Monday, October 1, 2017, is a day that is, and will be, marked by the Las Vegas shooting during the Route 91 Harvest Music Festival. We have been flooded with information regarding this traumatic experience and finding a way forward can feel paralyzing.

For those who were at the concert, or those who have experienced other traumatic events in life (war, physical or sexual crimes, or many other difficult circumstances) these experiences will be interwoven into their life story in an unforgettable and challenging way. Caring for ourselves after trauma may necessitate reaching out for help because of the deep impacts on our brains. When we experience trauma, our brain is catapulted into high alert. The job of the hippocampus in our brain (the fight, flight or freeze portion) is to alert us of danger. When it’s doing its job, we can respond before we have time to think strategically about what’s happening in front of us (think of pulling your hand away from a hot stove burner). After trauma of this magnitude, however our brain can be triggered to high alert mode from daily events that previously would have not sent us into high alert. Things from our environment taken in by our senses (sight, smell, hearing, touch, taste) can take us back to an aspect of the trauma we have encountered and our brain “plays back” these events as if we were re-experiencing the traumatic experience once again. We have a hard time staying grounded in the present and slowing our brains to realize even though this event/stimulus has taken our brain to that scary experience, we are in fact not in danger in this moment.

For those of us who did not experience the traumatic events firsthand, as with the Las Vegas shootings, we are still exposed to the stories about this traumatic scene. The news media provides consistent coverage regarding details that can actually create an internal traumatic response to these events as we hear about them from a distance. We may feel there is no where we can go that is safe and we too can feel paralyzed about how to live in a world in which something such as the Las Vegas shooting or other tragedies can occur.

As you find your way forward, the following are tips for how to care for yourself:

• BE MINDFUL-How much are you exposing yourself to information? Limit how much information you choose to take in about trauma to protect your own mind.
• BALANCE-Don’t only focus on negative and tragic events, but balance these events with the good in your personal life and the larger world around you as well.
• SEEK PEACEFUL ROUTINES-How do you seek peace for yourself? Is your faith a place to turn (even if that means wrestling with these tragedies)? Are there physical places you go that help you to slow and soak in peace? Physical exercise can release endorphins to help us feel better. Take care of yourself and seek balance in your journey.
• KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS-Certain places and experiences can cause flashbacks (firecrackers after experiencing war or the Las Vegas shooting, flashing lights when there has been response to tragedy, a smell, etc). While you can’t avoid all triggers, once you identify them it can be very helpful in your healing journey to limit exposure when you have the choice. Use physical grounding techniques to help you stay connected to the present moment (deep breathing, pushing your heels into the ground, running your hands under cold water).
• SEEK HELP-If you continue to struggle, know you are not alone. You can fight against the trauma by seeking out people to help you. You may find the need for help navigating questions about your faith (pastors), navigating personal trauma (professional counselors), and help with physical responses to trauma (medical professionals who can prescribe medications) as you have the courage to start your healing journey.

~Megan Miller, Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

There are times in life when we feel defeated. We feel unlovable… unworthy… insignificant. We seek to see if anything good within us remains. These times may follow transition and loss, or decisions we regret and can’t undo.

It is humbling to soak in the image of our Heavenly Father patiently waiting for us to turn our tear stained faces toward Him, and be welcomed with His loving embrace… even in our brokenness. It is hard to imagine that His perfect love for us does not waver in these dark and broken times. It may be even more difficult to believe that as we seek forgiveness, we are separated from those unspeakable parts of us-as far as the east is from the west.

In the midst of difficult circumstances God’s steadfast love remains. His love doesn’t fluctuate with our emotions or ability to soak in our worth. His love doesn’t even go away when we’ve gotten it “wrong.” He grieves when we are trapped by the lies that we are unlovable or unworthy. His death on the cross beckons us to be awakened to our worth. He sacrificed His life because you matter that much!

God chose love. He chose us. What might it mean for us to allow this kind of transforming love? How might we need to loosen our grip on the negative thoughts and choices that keep us defended and frozen from action, and instead seek reconciliation with God and others? How can we start allowing the persistent love of our Heavenly Father to penetrate our broken hearts? If our Creator places this inherent, incredible value on us, what would it be like to allow this in just a bit more? To let in that we really do matter?

Even in our brokenness, we can choose love. Love of self and the grace to begin again. An everlasting love that we can’t earn, but that is given as our personal gift from God. We reflect on how we may share this love with others who carry their own story of brokenness. Instead of getting caught up in competition with one another or having to be shamed by our past failures, we can release judgments, seek forgiveness, and choose to love ourselves and one another as our Creator chooses to love us.

Allow love. Chose love today.