Caitlin grew up as a listener and observer learning much from those around her. Finding herself interested in psychology from the moment she had the opportunity to take her first class, she went on to major in psychology and receive a Bachelor of Science degree. Following that endeavor she pursued and acquired a Master of Arts in Counseling and now works as a Licensed Professional Counselor. Caitlin joins us to offer anything that God might want to say through this broken (in the process of healing for the rest of this life) vessel to others out there experiencing their own brokenness.
Recently after a church message about “letting your past die”, I felt I was supposed to have a conversation with a family member. Our relationship had been struggling for a few weeks on the surface, but in reality it had been struggling for over a year. As I sat in church that day I became aware of the fact that I was angry, I was holding on to the anger, and that I was a part of not letting the past die. When some issues with my family member occurred a year ago I was quick to forgive. Honestly, I felt it was genuine. However, the thing I never let myself be was angry or hurt. I needed to be a bit angry. I needed to let myself feel it and for me (not everyone needs this) I needed to say it out loud to my family member. Let me tell you this is not a conversation I wanted to have. In a conversation with God I was a little sassy (some would say stubborn) and told him I didn’t really want to, but I would. Well you see He seems to know what He is doing because what I thought might be a 1 minute conversation ended up being a humbling and powerful hour and half. A time that God helped me recognize I had been prideful, guarded, and I was hurting along with my family member. It wasn’t enough to just be accepting, say I forgive you, and act nice on the outside. I really had to dig in and get the crud out. It had to be brought to light…it had already began stealing joy, peace, and relationship. What I felt as I left that conversation full of real raw moments and tears was peace. He had replaced my anger with peace and love.
I had the opportunity to find this healing with the other person involved. I know some people do not get that chance, but please offer yourself the chance and find a way to get the crud out so it can be replaced with something else that can breathe life and healing into your life rather than stealing it.
~Caitlin