One of my mentors introduced me to the phrase that life is a series of “ruptures and repairs.” I am captivated by this expression for many reasons. One appealing trait is that it normalizes the reality of the ups and downs of life. In the historical text of John, we are directed to this truth by his statement “in this world we will have troubles.” Rupture and trouble are a part of the human experience.
Another reason I am drawn to this phrase is that it provides hope for repair/healing. We are not left only with the challenge to face rupture and trouble-this is not the final word! The invitation that repair is possible invites us to take another step in the journey, even when we are facing the most desperate of times. John goes on to share God’s answer to the human reality of trouble. We are invited to “take heart, for I have (God has) overcome the world.” This reminds us that even in the face of the rupture, we are not abandoned. God has already won the battle, and continues to fight for and with us. When we live with the awareness of rupture AND repair, we have a hope for healing.
I am also drawn to this rupture and repair model because I appreciate the way it holds both the challenge and the good that exists in the world. When we have the balanced view of both the challenge and the blessing, we can move forward in a way that honors the reality of life. Where there is challenge, there is growth and opportunity. Where there is good, we are aware of the challenges we have overcome to get to this good place.
As I reflect on the biggest ruptures I’ve faced in life-the death of my husband and brother, I am humbled by how these devastating times allowed opportunity to grow and truly learn who I was as a child of God. Looking back, I can see how they captured the pain and the joy of life…. the joy of a life lived with great men, but of course the rupture of not having the opportunity to share life on this earth in a physical way with two people I dearly loved.
As I consider the journey of rupture and repair since this time, I continue to learn about the hope that comes from hard and hurting times as well as how I am grounded in the good times. There are “daily ruptures” that may not be as deep, but continue to remind me that I am in need of grace and mercy. I often can feel disappointed as I realize I’ve lost my patience or haven’t acted in lovings ways to (most often) the people who are closest to me. When I somehow “fail or get it wrong” I am reminded again that I have an opportunity to mend and repair. I can do my part and ask for a “do over” or for forgiveness and seek out the hope of healing the relationship.
I am “blessed” by my journey with deep and daily ruptures-I can now rejoice in being able to know truth of my belovedness in the face of my own brokenness at a more profound level.
In what ways has rupture and repair molded and changed you? In what ways may you need to seek repair and accept grace today?
~MM