The valleys of life suck. There is power in recognizing the times that we often feel we need to tuck away so no one can see them. We readily show off to others the strong parts of us and we long for them to see we have it all together. But-the reality is there are times in life that just cut us off at the knees.
During the turmoil and the “valleys” of life I find that I can expect an internal voice that creeps in challenging me-wondering if it’s worth the fight. There’s exhaustion at an emotional and physical level that I “earn” by navigating how to fight this battle. I must dig deep to just take the next breath in the journey. We long for a safe refuge as we strategically place our next step in hopes we don’t fall back into the pit we are trying to escape. We may feel as though there is nothing but a dense fog all around us-inviting additional confusion about how to find our way out. That voice starts to whisper all kinds of lies about who we are. It wants us to believe that we will never find a way forward.
Part of me in these times longs for the “magic wand” that will take away all my troubles and grant me what I am seeking without the turmoil… however that is only one part. You see, the reality is that after the many ups and downs of my life’s journey, I do still stare down these times with dread. It truly always sucks facing the deep pain of feeling we can’t fix our current circumstances with our (perhaps highly defended) “I’m alright” modes of operation. However, in time, I have come to appreciate that these times refine me and how I find my way in relationship. These needed changes in me and perhaps my relationships don’t just doesn’t happen during the carefree times of life. So, with a heavy heart, I face these times of excruciating pain and choose to remember the ways God has allowed me to mature and grow through similar seasons of my journey.
I choose to seek out, and work to remember, that my struggles allow me to find new life (in time anyway…). There are moments this far off promise of some type of “relief” down the road doesn’t feel like enough to keep going. If that is the case I pray I can at least give myself the grace to cry out to God and reach out to others from those valleys (Hey, even Jesus cried out longing for his impending death to be avoided if there was any other way). Even in taking this step I have to battle the twisted lies that I’m just doing this for some wrong motive… that I don’t deserve to give voice to this and have an opportunity to seek the help that comes from others. You see, my ego and the devil has had to take a hit as I combat these lies with the truth that I don’t have to do this by myself. In community God’s truth can be perhaps more readily tapped into and lies can be exposed. There is power in prayer and when I feel too overwhelmed to keep fighting myself, there are amazing people who walk with me-battling in prayer. This is so valuable when I have found myself questioning if I can take the next step. Others don’t get to fix things for me, but knowing they are fighting for me spiritually as well as lending a listening ear while I give voice to the pain, does lessen the darkness and put me on a path of truth. When the struggle is intense I may have to have them remind me of God’s truth for my life more often. This helps to combat some of the slippery steps that would mean falling back into the pit of lies and rejection for me.
If you find yourself in one of those dark valleys now, I pray that there is enough to sustain you for your next breath… the next minute… the next hour… and day.
I pray you can give yourself the permission to cry out and give voice to the pain. Share how deeply you have been touched by this trial, and seek help and truth about your belovedness in the midst of the valley. Find freedom in naming the pain so its grip does not grasp onto you as tightly.
My prayer is this writing reminds you that you are not alone in the dark valley. I pray you can feel that your specific struggle is being lifted up this very moment and that you are not fighting alone. As you have the courage to face this valley, I will pray that you have what you need… one breath at a time.
“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
~MM
