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Are you a Dr. Suess fan? If so, you may recall the line in Oh The Places You’ll Go, where he refers to the “most useless place” you could go: The Waiting Place. While I can appreciate the many lines written by the good doctor that keep my kiddos entertained, after years of braving the highs and lows of life, part of me has to push against the idea that the waiting place is “useless.” While most of us avoid the waiting place with every fiber in our being, perhaps there is more there than what meets the eye. I can connect with the part of me/our human experience that wants to avoid these waiting times in life… times when we feel we’re not moving in the direction we want… or we find ourselves in that place where we’re not able to control how fast we reach our next goal… or yet other times when we’re faced with finding our way after circumstances that perhaps we chose or that seemed to have chosen us… It’s times such as these that I have tried to challenge myself to see beyond the frustration of waiting.
I think back to the days after the loss of my husband and my brother and how so much of life felt it was on hold. I remember having many heated discussions with God about why He would allow this and feeling I was so far behind where I’d planned/hoped to be. Even in my daily rhythms today I can notice times when my will is not in alignment with a patient heart. From this ongoing and imperfect journey of learning to be more patient, I’d like to share a few thoughts about the benefits of those times we often want to avoid.
What I’ve learned from the waiting place:
Be Grateful for the Present
When we aren’t getting what we want when we want it, we can easily get wrapped up in the lie that “nothing” is happening. If we are honest, it’s likely that nothing we want to have happen is taking place in the time we’d like it to. If we can pause to take a deep breath and connect to what is taking place around us, we may begin to see with new eyes what is actually happening that we can be grateful for even though perhaps the hard parts of waiting still exist. We may be surprised what we see, and it could even prompt us to live out our next steps in a way we wouldn’t have if we hadn’t taken the time to be mindful of the now.
The Beauty of Slowing Down
When we are able to slow and notice the present, we can have an opportunity to (re)connect to the rhythms that can soothe our souls and help us tune into our desires and needs in a more accurate way. Being able to notice the beauty of the moment can help ground us and prepare us for our path ahead.
An example can be when we are hiking a trail and we stop to enjoy a lookout point. These moments of rest and soaking in the beauty in the midst of the hard hike up, can restore our energy and reenergize our desire to continue to climb the mountain we are hiking. I even enjoy looking back over the terrain I’ve worked so hard to cover to embrace the accomplishments I’ve already mastered. Celebrating our successes and seeing the good in our journey is a healthy part of finding ways to move forward. It can also provide encouragement to continue to pursue what is on our hearts and what God has for us as we continue to climb.
My Response to Waiting:
If you’re like me, you probably won’t like what you see all the time when you slow down to recognize how you respond to waiting in your life. I want to chuckle (as opposed to cry) when I hear that when we pray for patience, the antidote is often to be presented with challenges… We have daily “opportunities” to experience waiting, and be mindful of how we respond to waiting. Something as simple as letting someone else go in front of you at the cashier line or allowing a child to crack an egg for the first time and taking time to dig out the shells, compared to jumping in to rush through the process is a very different experience. As we become aware of the internal push to just get things done and move onto the next to-do list item, we can counter this with doing it different by slowing and experiencing life with those around us in enriched ways. The journey is not only more enjoyable for those around us when we can slow, but we begin to have the chance to embrace that life happens in those in-between times. Luckily on my journey to more patience and learning to respond in better ways to frustration and waiting, God continues to extend grace time and time again. This invites me be gentle with myself and those around me as well.
Hindsight is 20/20
Cliche’s are just that because of the truth they hold. Certainly after the wild ride of life’s ups, downs, twists and turns, I have started to see purpose where it felt as though only chaos existed. When I get caught up in the frustration of the moment, it’s helpful when I can tap into the reality that there is a bigger picture that I don’t get to see.
One analogy I’ve heard is that life is like a parade that’s going by-we are looking through a knot-hole in the fence and God can see it all from beginning to end. Even though there are moments in my life I was quite certain God was really messing up and couldn’t be trusted, in time and with His provision, I have come to trust that He will take care of me and there is something bigger than what I can see happening. He isn’t surprised by the circumstances of my life or my inappropriate ways of responding. He can love me through whatever mess it is I’m facing, which again brings me back to experiencing a radical love that I want others to know and experience for themselves. My prayer is that you can touch this true, deep love for you in your journey today.
Looking back there are times when I felt I was wandering aimlessly and must be miles from the track God had planned for me, and yet God was at work giving me what I needed for the next leg of the journey. It can bring comfort and push away the anxiety that wants to detour me from this provision when I rest in the truth that God is walking with me. He will not abandon me. And in my humanness, I can’t mess it up beyond His grace or His provision.
Waiting Provides the Ingredients for Deep Growth
Growth and waiting can both be painful. We can feel flooded with confusion when we experience the pain of letting go of what felt comfortable. We are in turmoil. Our pride takes a hit and we feel like we are out of control when we can’t pull things together in the same way we are accustomed to. However, it is during these times when we perhaps have no other choice but to surrender, that God does His best work within us. We let go of sometimes rigid or unhelpful patterns because we can’t pretend they are serving us well. We can almost accidentally fall into something new in our waiting periods and have the chance to even begin to embrace that what is new feels better, even while we continue to grieve we can’t do things the way we did before. We may choose to soak in new understanding and move forward with new tools. Often this doesn’t happen voluntarily, but through the hard work of growth in those waiting seasons.
God has Perfect Timing
Boy, let me tell you I have I had plans for my life. Unfortunately for that part of me that had life all figured out, God didn’t consult my playbook. Even though this created utter shock and deep painful moments initially, I have begun to see how God has shown me the value of trusting in His perfect timing as I’ve had to loosen the grip on what I thought would be. From my messiest of circumstances, He has been beside me as I stumbled through waiting and difficult times. He’s even managed to help me see some of the good that has come from moments that a part of me would rather completely avoid. God has also continued to refine me though the ongoing trails of life. As we continue to go through the waiting periods in life, it is my hope that we are more able to experience, articulate, and share the crazy love God has for us.
Waiting Provides Preparation
So often we think we know what we need and when we need it. However, there have been circumstances in which I can see and understand that God does know better than me about what I need. As He has prepared my heart, another step is revealed and I continue to be refined to take the next leg of the journey.
I can also admit how even those long awaited parts of the journey can feel scary once they start falling into place. Once I’m actually faced with walking toward the longing in my heart-the fears can come crashing down on me to try to deter me from this path… While I can get stuck in the muck of the lies that I’m not enough or what makes me think I should pursue something so big, in time I am so grateful how the Lord seems remind my heart of what He has for me (and all of His Beloved children). Perhaps its’ through the truth that a friend speaks to me, or a song that has lyrics that feel they were written for my ears to hear that day, or even through an opportunity to rest and notice the blessings… there are gentle encouragements/reminders that can prepare me for those next steps forward-even when the fear wants to keep me frozen and deter me from my path.
My prayer today is that the awareness of the challenges and the good that accompany the waiting place can draw you into the opportunity that co-exists with these seasons of life. Even though it’s natural in our human nature to hope to avoid the seasons of waiting, what may it be like to instead challenge yourself? If you feel yourself getting sucked into believing the lies that you feel you are only waiting and it’s useless, perhaps you can instead put on a new set of shoes to hike with and allow your feet to seek out the growth and opportunity that awaits in those seasons. Maybe this is what you need to be able embrace the opportunity of God’s perfect timing as you follow your unique calling/path.
~MM
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.