As a therapist, but also just as a human, I deeply value connection. When people have the courage to be vulnerable and fully show up, one could say I pretty fiercely want to provide a protected space for them to know safety in that space in which they are being so brave. I know the deep benefits that come from this type of authenticity personally, and I’ve had the honor of walking with others as they embrace healing in their own story with these types of experiences.
As I reflected on a recent discussion with a friend and mentor, I realized how much I don’t get to protect. I have always known this and understood it due to my own broken journey… but it’s yet another, deeper level and deeper understanding. Through the recent loss of my aunt, the loss of my cousin last year, and the many years that have passed since the loss of my brother and my husband, I find myself weeping at this realization in my own life yet again. This raw grief reminds me (and is an invitation to all of us) of the true beauty and joy that is life holds, but with the beauty we also encounter times of deep sorrow. I can hold space for those broken pieces of my story. I can hold this space for others in their brokenness as well. I continue to have to come back to the truth that regardless of the depths of this pain, however I don’t have the power to direct the universe in a way that stops these hard parts from existing or keeping disappointments and heartaches from happening again. Not for me. Not for others.
So where is the hope in this deep desperation that I come face to face with and have to weep over yet again? For me, the hope is in the reality even though I don’t get to “fix” it, I can be present to it. I still grieve over not only my own losses and dark valleys, but that of the those around me and even for this world. I can tolerate this deep sorrow, because I know life lives here. This probably sounds so counter-intuitive you may want abandon this post now. However, I feel we are called as humans to live bravely into our stories. To fully embrace the joy, we must also face and acknowledge our sorrow. I must release the suffering of my story, and of this world to the Ultimate Healer. I look to a God who is far bigger and greater than me. Who knew me before I was born and who can see me (and you) and the intrinsic value in how we were created. He can also bring healing to our hearts in a way that only the Creator can. I can step into trusting that by giving voice to my own aching, or by truly seeing and hearing another of His beloved children, I am providing space for His love to transform and redeem the broken pieces of both of our hearts into something more beautiful. This doesn’t erase the pain, but it does create paths for healing. It provides opportunity for transformation in our hearts and the hearts of those who have the courage to share their story in sacred spaces.
~MM
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18